3 THINGS MOTHERS WHO STRUGGLE WITH BREASTFEEDING DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH

This blog post is inspired by my personal experience and that of many mothers. It's also in the spirit of World Breastfeeding week, celebrated annually from 1^st to 7^th August, around the world.

I became a first time mom in 2015 and I am a mother to a lovely 16 month girl. While I was pregnant, I did not question whether I would breastfeed or not. It was not an option. In fact, I looked forward to breastfeeding my baby. In addition to attending regular antenatal classes, I was also consistently reading up materials on the internet. As far as I was concerned, I had followed all the pre-natal instructions and was ready.

After successfully birthing my daughter, I was eager to start breastfeeding her. But guess what? I was not producing breast milk. Everyone from the nurses, to the doctor and my mom kept telling me to “put her to breast”. God knows I was trying, but nothing. By the second day I burst out crying, as I felt under so much pressure to deliver. Thankfully, I started producing milk after a few days and had to struggle with pain in my breasts, engorgement, low milk production, etc.

I share below, 3 things Nigerian mothers struggling with breastfeeding have to deal with:

1.       PRESSURE

As if the adjustment to motherhood is not enough, there is the pressure to breastfeed exclusively in Nigeria. I am in support of exclusive breastfeeding in the first six months of a baby’s life. Interestingly, one of the first questions you get from other mothers, women and a few men in Nigeria is: “are you doing exclusive breastfeeding?” If your answer is “No”, then get ready for a lecture on how you need to be doing so. However, the pressure to do this, even when it is not feasible, is a reality new mothers have to face in Nigeria. The reality is some women struggle with low milk production and do not make enough breast milk, to exclusively breastfeed their baby. Do not feel pressured or starve your baby if this is the case but augment your breast milk supply with infant formula. I had to travel the road of combination feeding (breast milk and infant formula). I know I did the right thing for my baby and myself and that helped me deal with the pressure.

2.       PERCEIVED FAILURE

I don’t like to fail at things and never imagined I would struggle with breastfeeding. But that was how I felt in the beginning when I did not produce breast milk. It was also how I felt when I realised initially I had low breast milk production. Other mothers were doing it, so why was I failing at it? The unsolicited lectures and judging stares from some mothers and women when I whipped out a feeding bottle, containing something other than breast milk, was enough to make me feel like a failure. Thankfully, my mom was there to re-assure me that I was succeeding in being a breastfeeding mother. This was in addition to a few mothers who shared their stories with me.

3.       GUILT

Breast milk and breastfeeding have immense benefits. The World Health Organisation lists some of these as: association with lower rates of chronic diseases, improves nutritional status in infants, a form of natural contraception for some women, etc. As a working mother who had to return to work after 3 months maternity leave, I felt guilty, as the number of times I could breastfeed my baby reduced. This is the case for many mothers who plan to breastfeed exclusively but have to return to work. Even If your place of work makes provision for you to use a breast pump to express breast milk, you may still feel guilty.  I had an older woman chastise me when she found out my daughter was no longer breastfed at six months. It did not matter to her, that my daughter voluntarily refused taking breast milk at that age. I refused to let her guilt-trip me, as I was not committing any offence

For all mothers struggling with breastfeeding, you need to ditch the guilt. You need to do what is best for your baby and for you. For everyone else, you need to be less judgmental and provide support to one another. The world is hard enough, don't make it harder. Like I've said to a few people who chose to give their unsolicited judgement, just because I was not exclusively breastfeeding: "Nobody is giving medals to mothers for exclusively breastfeeding. Your medal is raising a healthy and happy child."