10 Moms Share their Best Tips Before You Say Yes to Baby No. 2


As a mom of 2 kids under 3 (Zara is 2+ years & Kamara is 5 months old), living in Lagos, Nigeria, I do get overwhelmed with everything a lot of times. There are so many things I did not expect and I don't know why all these women in my family did not warn me about how hard it gets raising more than one child.

People are pretty much nosy in these parts, and once my child turned one, I was getting bombarded with questions on "when are you going to give Zara a sibling?". I wish someone had told me that being a mom of 2 is more tasking. It was easier for me to transition from having no kids to one child. I struggled more with the transition from one kid to two kids, mostly because my oldest is a toddler and the 'terrible twos' is a different ball game. Being a mom of a toddler is emotional. Also, irrespective of what's going on (pregnancy sickness, delivery, etc.) you always have another child to worry about. It helps to have a routine with both kids and preparing ahead as much as I can helps make life easier.

I was curious to know if I was alone in feeling this way or not. I ask 10 Mommy Bloggers, with two kids and more, from around the world, their experience raising their kids and more.
This should prepare you before you say Yes to baby no. 2.

  1.  Onyi Azih of Sincerelyonyi.com

She is Nigerian American, living in Texas, with 2 kids- a 2 year old boy and a 3 month old boy.
10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS? 
That the hardest part would be the toddler after having 2 under 2. The amount of patience I have to practice is astounding.
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
Definitely 1 to 2. I feel somewhat of an expert now. Luckily we have 2 boys so there was little extra we needed to purchase. Knowing what to expect, decrease of first time mom anxiety and having what I need already made the transition so much easier.
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
Hmm, I say 3-5. I have to be honest and say I had 2 under 2 unexpectedly. There are some reasons that it's a little easier since we will get the diapers and baby stages all over at once. But I still believe more time in between would have been a nice break to get the entire family ready for the next baby. But hey, are you every really ready? LOL
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
Since I still have a newborn our routine is not quite set but for our toddler we try to remain strict on his bed times for structure and allow us alone time for ourselves or the baby.
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM? 
A helping hand from friends to watch my children so I can leave the house child free or with hubby without paying someone.
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Wonderful-ly exhausting... sorry I had to use 2 lol

 2. Dorry Lyn L Tan of Momsshoutout.com

She is from Tacloban City, Leyte, Philippines. She is mom to an 8 year old boy and a 17 month girl 5 

10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
Having more kids is fun but stressful
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
No kids to 1 child is easier because I just have to manage on caring one child and work. I have more time caring, tutoring and attend all my son's activities. 
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
3 years gap is I think the perfect number because as a working mom I can have more time to focus on caring and providing my child's needs, guide him in developing stage.
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
Make a to-do list and prioritize what is needed.
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
A non-material gift, which is a healthy life for my lovely kids.
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Proud

3. Betty Boiron of The Terrific Five

She is Taiwanese and lives in Southern California, USA. She has 2 children aged 1 year old and 3 years old.
10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
How there will be virtually no personal time. Before with 1 kid you and your spouse can switch on and off. With 2 of them, especially when the second one is an infant, you basically cannot have any alone time since the baby is always attached to you. When you manage to get away from the baby, you need to spend some alone time with the older kid.
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
1 child to 2 children, because you at least have experience with one. Even though it's still super difficult raising 2, especially if they are close in age, you don't stress as much with the second one. 
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
Around 2 years. Because they are far apart enough that your older kid kind of understands his/her role as the older sibling. Yet not so far apart that they can play together well.
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
I find activities around the house that could occupy both kids at the same time. (for example, play-doh, magnetic tiles, blocks, etc. (they will always want to play with what the other one is playing with anyway).
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
Just help around the house. Someone to help me fold the laundry or wash the dishes. After a long day with the kids I just want to relax, not do chores around the house!
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Unbelievable.

 4. Laura le Roux of Harassed Mom

She is South African and lives in Pretoria, South Africa. She is a mom of four aged - 15, 13, 6 and 3 years old.
10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com


WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
That you never really know what the heck you are doing
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
I think it was 2 to 3 to be honest. There was a big gap between kid 2 and kid 3 which made it easier to adjust. 
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
I don't know. I have kids with a small gap and kids with a big gap. One isn't easier than the other one. 
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
Maintaining a bed time routine has kept us all sane. We don't have much else in terms of routine but I have always kept bedtime the same. It means I get an hour or so when everyone is asleep.
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
Time? And maybe regular pedis 😊
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Chaos

    5. Sasha Hernandez-Ticali of Ohh Sash


She is from Puerto Rico & lives in Maryland, USA.She has 2 boys aged: two years & one month old. 

10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
Practice patience. I am pretty sure I heard, it but I wish someone would have reminded me over and over again. You need patience for everything - people, feeding, your toddler, your hair, your recovery. Add having more kids to it and you really, really need it!
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
Transitioning from none to one was difficult because it's new, it is territory you have yet to come across and there is A LOT of initial sacrifice that you didn't have to consider at all. Going from one to two children, you have the guilt that comes from not being able to give all of your attention alongside stretching yourself thin to accommodate and please both children. For me - going from one to two was the easier transition. I am so used to coming after others and adding another little heartbeat just meant I had a little extra time to add. I was not expecting the guilt to be so strong but it's manageable. 
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
I don't think there is a perfect number and if there is it is totally up to the two involved. For us, we knew we wanted our babies to be far apart but close enough in age.  We have a gap of a little over two years. Any sooner and I probably would cry a lot more. Two year olds are a force to be reckoned with! Any more and I probably would have had a harder time handling a newborn!
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
Let them lead you! This has let me learn to let go while learning more about how my child/children think and what they see. I can spend my entire day trying to get him to follow a routine that best fits ME but it will do nothing for him. If I allow him to guide me through his interests and take the cues he gives me, it will allow for an easier day as well as a stronger relationship. This isn't to say that he gets away with things it just means I'm not trying to lead a heavy horse on a thin string to water. 
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
Appreciation
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Emotional


  6.  Estrella Lezcano of Superstarmamas.com


She is from Honduras & lives in Florida, USA. She is a mom of 3 -ages 8, 2 years old and 14 weeks.
10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com



WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
That you need to create more time for you because all the attention goes to them. 
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
1 to 2 kids.
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
3 years. Because the children are more independent. 
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
It is never too early to start a routine. My 3 month old goes to bed at 8 pm like my two boys do😊 If it doesn’t work one day, keep trying. It is all about the consistency. 
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
Massages
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Exciting 


 7. Einna Gelilio of Mommytots.com

She is from The Philippines and a mom of two, aged 9 and 4 years old.
10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
Having more kids becomes easier when they’ve all grown up. Just enjoy each moment now, because having them small and chaotic won’t take that long.
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
1 child to 2 children! because it seems we don’t have enough time to spend with each of them. And the eldest still got jealous for the attention and love that was exclusively his before.
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
I think it depends on how ready you are. I decided to have 5 years of gap to give way for my career and fully prepare my body for the next pregnancy.
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
I always wake up before the kids, so I can have time to relax, exercise, or simply listen to music to boost me up. And learn not to compare, because every mom has their own journey and every child is unique. 
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
I wish for ME time for me to unwind and recharge.
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Exciting!

       

 8. Anjana Bhartia of Mommy Republic

She is from India. She is a mom of 2 - a foster son aged 14 and a biological son who is 2 and a half years old.

10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
That it'll be double the mess and double the fun! Kids are always more work than you ever thought - and equally more wonderful than I could ever have imagined!
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
It was easier to transition from one kid to 2, because well, you've been through the paces once - so then it's not as hard as the first time! 
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
I would say it would be 2 to 3 years. 
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
I put on the music to full volume as my teenager loves it! And leave them both to dance and tire out! While I go and catch up on my favorite Netflix series of the month.
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
The gift of time for myself! Cliche? Well, then maybe a spa weekend! 
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Maddening!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


9. Cheechee Abang of Yummy Mum Life

She is Nigerian & lives in Lagos, Nigeria. She has 3 girls aged 6, 1 year 9 months and 4 months old.
10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
That it is stressful as hell especially when you are trying so hard to do it right.There is so much work to be done and there are hardly any days off. However, it is very rewarding too.That we can't take away.
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
For me it has to be from 2 kids to 3 kids.The age difference between my first and second is about 4 years so it wasn't as difficult but there was still the need to give individual attention. However, 2 kids to 3 kids has been tedious and tasking to say the least. I literally carry them together and people call them twins. LOL! It's tough I tell you but with planning,routine and strategy we have more good days than bad.
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
I won't say there's a perfect number of years.Some people can get away with a 1 year gap between each child and all will be well.It really depends on where your life,finances,emotions and other factors are at that moment.

Don't let anybody make you feel a certain way because they feel a certain time is right.The choice is yours.

WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
It's really organisation, planning ahead. I'm extremely organised.
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
Money LOL! I have different needs at different times, so money is the perfect gift.
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Demanding.

10. Viktoria Andersson of Awesome Alice

She is Swedish and lives in Sweden. She is a mom of 2 - ages 1 year and 4 years old.

10 moms share their best tips before you say yes to baby no. 2- neloshalo.com

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU ABOUT HAVING MORE KIDS?
You will be tired, sure. But the joy you've felt with your first child, you'll feel more than double the amount with two.
WHICH WAS EASIER TO TRANSITION FROM: NO KIDS TO 1 CHILD OR 1 CHILD TO 2 CHILDREN? WHY?
1 child to 2. Having our first child changed EVERYTHING. But when our second child was born, it was just like adding one to the group. We were already used to not getting enough sleep and always feeling tired. So one child or two didn't really make a difference to us.
WHAT IS THE PERFECT NUMBER OF YEARS TO HAVE BETWEEN EACH CHILD? WHY?
Our son was 3.5 years old when his sister was born. I would have loved for them to be closer in age, but that just didn't happen for us. But the good thing about having kids with a few years apart is that our son could help us out with stuff like finding missing pacifiers or running to get a burp cloth. He was also able to go to the bathroom by himself or getting a glass of water if he was thirsty. These things alone made life with two kids pretty easy. 
WHAT IS YOUR GO-TO ROUTINE FOR RAISING YOUR KIDS THAT MAKES LIFE A LITTLE EASIER FOR YOU?
Do more of what makes them happy! Happy kids equal happy momma. If your kids are driving you crazy one day, go to a park with them, let them play in the tub or anything else that makes them happy and brings you peace.
WHAT IS ONE GIFT YOU WISH YOU WOULD GET MORE OFTEN AS A MOM?
A clean kitchen. Seriously. That's the one thing I hate about being a mom. The load of dishes that need to be cleaned every day? My perfect gift would be for someone to come to my house and do the dishes for me during a week.
USING ONE WORD ONLY, DESCRIBE HOW IT FEELS BEING A MOM TO A TODDLER OR TODDLERS? Amazing!


Wow! It has been amazing hearing from all 10 moms. Irrespective of where moms come from, whether, Africa, America, Europe, Asia, Latin Amercia, etc. I think we all agree that having and raising children is as tasking as it is rewarding. Personally, I feel having 3 years between each child is best because dealing with a 2 year old and the terrible twos, adds another layer of stress to the dynamics.

I would really love some ME time for Christmas, to catch up on sleep and enjoy my favourite Youtube videos. I hope all moms get some quality time as well during the holidays. Send this blog post to your family and friends, so they know the best gift to get you for Christmas or the holidays.




4 comments

  1. Interesting views from your interviewees. What's the Swedish blogger's name; the article didn't say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. Her name is Viktoria, Thanks for letting me know, i have corrected the post

      Delete
  2. Wow...this is very informative and interesting. I learnt a lot. well-done!

    ReplyDelete

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